This sounds good, then just shoot yourself now and save the rest of us the trouble of supporting your destined-to-fail ass in the future. If you sit in your room listening to this, and honestly think, Wow, Im really diggin’ it. Sure, it has a few moody riffs, but overall, its monotonous, subdued, and boring. I generally like to hear more than a kick drum and an occasional crash in my black metal. If I want raw black metal, I’ll listen to Gorgoroths, Pentagram, or Ulvers, Madrigal, or hell, I just won’t fucking listen to it because its a waste of time. And there are those, like me, who would say that this is one of the most overrated heaps of steaming black metal manure of all time. There are those who would say that this is the best, raw (which typically equates to shitty) black metal album of all time. Now there are two distinct sides when it comes to debating Transylvanian Hunger. So naturally, I did not get Transylvanian Hunger when it came out, but heard it several years later after reluctantly listening to Panzerfaust and thinking, well, there were a few good riffs, and Quintessence was good stuff… Shortly after listening to Soulside Journey, I decided that Darkthrone was a band that I would not follow, primarily because Soulside Journey was mediocre death metal, plain and simple. I was huge fan of the first two Paradise Lost (also on Peaceville) records at the time, and had been living on Gothic when I decided to check out the labels other prospective band, Darkthrone. I’ll admit that I was excited to get my cassette of Soulside Journey back in who knows the fuck when.
Ive said it before and Ill say it again, Heaven Shall Burn reigns supreme. I mean, the guy basically destroyed his throat in the name of Satan. He sounded like a haggard-ass, cranky old man shouting satanic slurs at neighborhood kids from his rocking chair, er., throne. Every song sounded the same, and Legion, bless him, had totally lost his voice by then. The rest of the CD drags its ass around like a worm-ridden hyena on a hot afternoon. This album starts off in the classic Marduk vein with a kick-ass track that stays cool for approximately thirty seconds.
Their long sleeve shirt, don’t ask me how I know, said, Panzer Legions of Vondur on the back, and as everybody knows, anything related to black metal that uses the word, Panzer should generally be ignored, if not ridiculed, i.e., Panzer Division by Marduk, or Darkthrones Panzerfaust, which had one cool song. The only cool part about this was the cover art featuring Darth Vader. This was some of the most low-fi black metal ever, blowing away even Darkthrone in terms of downright ghastly production. Sure, the whole concept of Vondur was a joke, but that doesnt mean the record blew relentlessly. This was a musical abomination, through and through, with ALLs wretched vocals to top things off. IT and ALL birthed a stillborn with this one.
Never mind.Īrguably the worst black metal album ever recorded. Wait, I guess I never took them too seriously to begin with. By Damned in Black, it was hard for me to take them seriously anymore. Thankfully, Horgh strapped on his your puck ain’t gettin’ past me, bitch shin guards and hopped aboard the Immortal caboose, improving the band in the latter part of their career even though their pics grew more preposterous with each album. Come to think of it, the entire album sounded bad on every level and was a step down from Pure Holocaust. Naturally, the drums required more from Abbath than on Pure Holocaust, but the poor guy just couldn’t keep up no matter how many times he unzipped his pants. I mean, seriously, it must have the highest missed-bpm count of any black metal album in history. Anyway, Abbath’s drumming was just fucking heinous. Probably because I was young and impressionable, and maybe even a bit lonely. Now that I reflect back on it, I wonder how I ever liked it. This album is, at the same time, totally fucking classic and totally fucking terrible. In No Particular Order Fresh Off The Heels Of His Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pictures, Mike From Hobart Continues To Call The Faggoths On Their Shit
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